The First of Many

Graduation is in 2 days.

I'm so unprepared. Not just practically, but mentally and emotionally. Sure I still need to iron out my gown and figure out what I'm going to wear, charge my camera and upload pictures. But after 12 years of school, I can't believe I'm almost done. Never again will I walk out of class and find, reliably & regularly, my friends. Never again will they just be waiting for me at our usual table. Why didn't I realize sooner how precious these moments are, because they'll never come again. I truly envy those who live each day to the fullest, as if it were their last. Because for the past 18 years, I've been floating by, getting through one day at a time. Which brings me to another point, how I just realized that I've had "what ifs" floating in my head as long as I can remember. What if that had never happened, what if that had, would everything be different? I waste too much of my life wondering, life that I could've been using, could have been living. I''m going to try harder now. Still, I wish I knew little things would affect so much, like being laptop-less for so long leading to drifting friendships. That the decision to become better friends with the girls in the group would lead me to let my friendships with the guys fall between the cracks. I wish I could say that now things will be different, I'll be different. But there's really no to know for sure. I guess I'll try is all I can give; I just hope that it's enough. But if it's not, at least there's one thing I can guarantee, is that even if I can't make everything perfect, and I can't stay in touch with everyone, this is my effort to everyone. Whenever you wanna know what's up with me, you can come here, because I'll try my best to keep this updated, so you'll be updated, cus I want you to know that I miss you too. So here's to the upcoming summer, to a dreamer who will never stop dreaming, to the future and my friends, and the first of many long, long stories.

Forever & Always,
Em.