Life goes on.

Success! Paolo's surprise party went as well as it possibly could considering I am the one who planned it, haha. I haven't had such a good record with past planning.. anything. But good thing I started terry and paolo's like 2 months ago almost. But yeah, all goood. I miss the davis kids already &&&&& the cal poly kids of course, and jessica-essica too. And if I'm being totally honest, I semi-miss kristel. But she's here, and I'll see her at least once a week. I guess I'm just getting used to the idea that logan's not coming back into session; we're not all gonna meet up in the caf or in the 200's or even in the hallways anymore. All I have is the image of them in my head, the photos on facebook, and the occasional webcam session. But school's got me so exhausted mostly cus I'm starting to lose interest already, plus yoga, whatever other things I'm planning/ doing, and now I don't get to sleep in on saturdays cus I have dictation work, =[ boo. I miss sleep. I'm starting to get headaches from lack of it, that makes me nervous. Anyways, let's see what else is going on... I haven't started writing my dreams down yet cus I haven't figured out where to write them; but I should soon, cus my dreams are getting crazier. There's peace in my life, but I feel drama creeping up around the corner. I vent in small bursts, on here, and to close friends, but it's still there. Finding the right moment to strike. I just have these small little things in my head, little thoughts, and I feel terrible for thinking them, but they bother me. At least I'm not the only one, but still, I just wish I could move past it. I wish he would stop being such a hypocrit if he's gonna cut me out of his life, but whatever. Fine. Don't give a shxt about me, just please don't pretend it's because of her. To be honest, I'm not even mad at her, I'm mad at you. Cus I realize, this isn't her fault at all. You let this happen, and what's worse, you didn't even change for the better, you only changed how you are with me. But now you're not better for her, or for me. You're just a hypocrit who cut me out to please someone else, but really, it's only a matter of time before she discovers who you really are. And if you really took stock in your life, you'd see that I'm telling you the truth and you're just in denial, and you're hiding things from her that you shouldn't. Hiding things that have nothing to do with me, and everything to do with you. I honestly can't believe this is who you are, who you want to be. It makes me really sad to fight for you; but I'm done. It's over, if this is how you want it to be, then that's how it will be. I don't need you to feel like I have someone. You're just another one of them. Another one to burn me and run; you can go in the corner with the rest of them, cus I don't need you. If you don't care how I feel, if you don't care about me, then I dont want to care about you. And I may not be able to get what I want from you, but I'll damn sure get what I want from me. I have more important people to take care of.